the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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