Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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