She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she told me i tasted like america
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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