i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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