can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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