every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
