I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
