Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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