Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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