she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
