wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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