I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
