So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
