he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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