is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
