She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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