The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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