3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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