I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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