i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
