This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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