Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
