Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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