I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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