The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
