I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
