Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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