Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
