So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
