As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
