before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
