Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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