Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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