Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
