you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
