my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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