Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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