FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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