You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
