Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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