dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
