Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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