I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
