Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
