dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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