no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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