I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dignity is for republicans.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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