If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
