I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize