He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
