I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize