Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
