how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
