Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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