He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
