i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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