Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
