maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
