Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
