babies were throwing up all over the place
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
