He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
