It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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