Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
