I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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