u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
