She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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