Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just forgot I was standing up.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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