i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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