I wannas sexs uuuuu
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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