she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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